Bullying can feel like a big, scary word — especially when your child is only five. But the truth is, unkind behavior, power struggles, and early social conflicts often begin long before elementary school. In fact, research from the National Center for Education Statistics shows that about one in five children experience some form of bullying by early elementary age, and early childhood educators report that aggressive or exclusionary behavior is common even in preschool settings. That means your child isn’t alone, and neither are you.
At age five, children are still learning how to share space, express big feelings, and understand the impact of their actions. What adults might label “bullying” often begins as developmentally normal behavior — pushing to get a turn, using strong words to feel powerful, or excluding a peer because they don’t yet know how to navigate group play. But even if the intent isn’t fully formed, the feelings your child experiences are very real. When someone is unkind, it can sting, confuse them, or make them hesitant to join in again.
At these early ages it can often be difficult for children to express or understand complex concepts like bullying. You can ask a child on Monday if they’re being bullied and they say “yes” and on Tuesday it’s “no” and on Wednesday it’s, “what’s that?”
Here at the animal learning network, we believe that kids learn from examples and learn best when they’re having fun. That’s why in, “A to Zoo 26 Teachable Animal Tales”, one of our animals tries to handle the same situations your kids are dealing with. Some of them do better than others. In the story “Billy the bear”, we get a glimpse into why the bear exhibits bullying behavior, and how the squirrel, bunny and raccoon feel about being on the receiving end of that behavior and how they handle it.
So rather than asking a child about a complex concept, you can ask, do you ever feel like any of the characters in the story? Which leads you to the discussion on how you want your child to handle the situation if ever confronted with it.
This is where your guidance becomes incredibly powerful. Young children look to the adults they trust to help them make sense of difficult social situations. When you talk openly about kindness, fairness, and how to respond when someone is unkind, you’re giving your child tools they’ll use for years. You don’t need long lectures — just simple, steady language they can remember. Phrases like, “You can say, ‘Stop, I don’t like that,’” or “If someone is unkind, you can walk away from them and find a safe friend or grown‑up,” to help you build confidence and clarity in what to do.
It’s also helpful to remember that five‑year‑olds are still learning empathy. A child who acts unkindly isn’t destined to be a bully — they may be overwhelmed, tired, unsure how to join play, or copying behavior they’ve seen elsewhere. When adults step in early with calm, consistent guidance, children learn better ways to communicate and connect. This early intervention is one of the strongest predictors of healthier social behavior later in life.
If your child tells you someone was mean, start by listening without rushing to fix it. Ask gentle questions: “What happened next?” “How did that make you feel?” “What did you do?” This helps your child process the moment and gives you insight into what support they need. Then, offer reassurance: “Thank you for telling me. I’m glad you came to me. We can figure this out together.” That sense of safety is everything at this age.
Finally, remember that building resilience doesn’t mean ignoring hurt feelings. It means helping your child understand that unkind moments happen, but they have the strength, language, and support to handle them. With your guidance — and a little practice — your child can learn to stand tall, speak up, and navigate friendships with growing confidence.